Where's this breaking point I keep hearing so much about? This magical event I'm warned of that's supposed to snap me out of this daze I've been in and empower me to get my life in order. Not sure whose order, but since there's so many who feel they get a say I guess any order will do.
Was the breaking point seeing the person I've claimed to love battered and broken on the floor? Care and concern so self serving and egomanical I couldn't help but slam it through a door. It couldn't have been. I wouldn't be right back in the same symbiotic situation.
Maybe the breaking point should have been well before that scene had a chance to culminated and explode violently. So if I missed it, is it too late? Have I already doomed myself to a lifetime of alone?
Don't get me wrong. I take full responsibility for this. I'm a grown, well educated man and I've known exactly what this is. Regardless how damaging and detrimental to my psyche this "supposed" friendship is, I'm not the type of person to turn my back on someone who needs me. Needs, not wants. While I'm the one who gets to deal with all the bullshit day to day, the "want" has always been reserved for someone else. Anyone else. I'm just the "here".
It sucks when you realize your soul mate is destined to be someone else's. Although I have no question he loves me. I'm well aware how easily selfishness mistakes need for affection.
It is what it is.
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