25 Completely Random Things About Me

1. One time I farted really loud when I was about ten years old and my cousin just so happened to be bending over to pick something up at the time and I got her in trouble for being rude cause there were guests in the house. Sorry, nubs. :-)
2. Working at the high school was the best time of my life. Doing something with meaning and helping others was a bonus I never expected.
3. Midgets freak the shit outta me. I witnessed a midget on crutches attack a normal sized girl at the high school one time and I just stood there frozen in terror.
4. Strangely enough, i've never broken a bone in my body.
5. I talk to my cats like they are people.
6. I watch UFC for all the wrong reasons.
7. I've never had a cavity in my life and the dentist scares me.
8. I accidentally overdosed on caffeine pills once when I wanted to stay up late with a buddy of mine to have a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon and drunkenly took a handful of his mother's pills. I freaked out and had to be taken to the emergency room during Freddy vs. Jason at the theater where a security guard was placed on me and the nurses mocked me for as they put it "drinking too much coffee." cunts.
9. I was a published writer for an online publishing company.
10. I list cleaning as a hobby of mine. It relaxes me. There's nothing more I'd rather do than smoke a bowl and clean my house.
11. When I was a freshman in college and dealing with my sexuality I secretly entered this hot story contest and won. The site was for a gay porn production company and the owner contacted me about writing scripts for the company. He just so happened to be coming to Chicago for the fireworks show that 4th of July and I agreed to meet with them. that morning after responding to a picture request so he knows what I look like he asked me if I would be interested in working INFRONT of the camera. i chickened out and never went through with the meeting.
12. I'm attracted to dorks.
13. I can list Michael Jordon, Wayne Gretzgy and John Elway as former employers.
14. I've seen Danity Kane in concert everytime they've preformed in my city.
15. I cried during Adam Sandler's Big Daddy
16. onions are my kryptonite
17. I worked at Burger King for a month before I quit by chucking a whopper at this little prick manning the register. His name was Angus or Anus or some shit.
18. my friends used to refer to me as the "straight boy layer" due to my luck with turning out a straight man. all of the straight men. it's a gift.
19. my father took me to get a nose job for my 8th grade graduation cause he thought my nose was too big but when the doctor showed me what they were planning on doing to my face i was OUT!
20. I am terrified of syringes. not needles. syringes. to this day i will tear up when the doctor tries to take my blood and when i was in 5th grade i got a piece of needle bent in my arm from me flailing about after it took my mother, grandmother doctor and a nurse to hold me down to get my school shots.
21. i hate gay clubs and would rather go to a neighborhood bar and play darts.
22. btw.... i will KICK YOUR ASS in a game of darts.
23.the prospect of a fight excites me.... not sexually you pervs.
24. one time i ran into this guy at the gap and he looked EXACTLY like me. mirror image. and i really wanted to fuck him. is that vain?
25. i am loyal to a fault until crossed.