maybe i need to shut the hell up and listen

Getting back into contact with old friends recently I've been talking to a good friend from my high school days. Last time I saw her was at her wedding less than a year ago and she brought me up to date on how she's been having some trouble with her marriage lately.

I couldn't help but remember the lunch we had a few months before her wedding where she told me she wasn't sure if it was gonna work with her fiance. She had the added pressure of being so close to the big day that almost all the preparations were in the finalizing stage. She was confused but seemed certain the differences between the two were not just going to resolve themselves. He had that macho mexican man mentality where his woman wakes up earlier than him to make breakfast and see her man off. Anyone who knows my friend knows she doesn't have a subservient bone in her body. Plus there was the issue of his daughter who she just wasn't connecting with. I've known her for almost fifteen years, this wasn't a decision she was taking lightly. As a friend I felt going through with the engagement without properly dealing with these issues first was just going to make it harder for her later.

I hate to admit I was slightly disappointed to hear she decided to marry him and hoped the best for her. She's voiced how she feels disregarded and disrespected by her husband and I got a little annoyed when she took him back again without really dealing with the issues. I made the mistake of voicing these opinions. You never tell a friend what to do in a relationship one way or another. It can only come back to bite you in the ass. Just be there for them and listen, give your opinion but don't judge. Guess I got caught up in carrying about my friend and I may have come off as a bit judgemental when I asked why she decided to give it another chance when she feels like he's not going to put forth any effort. She snapped back, "cause when you're married," I couldn't help but to notice how pointedly she said married. "You don't just walk away until you know you have tried every possible way to save your marriage." I felt ashamed for even trying to pretend I understood. Playing house and being married are two completely different things. Made me realize just how little I know.