Can't you just shut the fuck up and listen!?!

Coming home to an empty apartment after spending the weekend with him was a little too much for me to bear. I sat around. Cried. Cleaned. Cried. Killed zombies online. Cried.

I'm not one to just open up and gush to my friends. It's why I blog. But while I was online my friend Bernie asked me how I was doing and I just opened up my vagina and poured out this font of emotion. I think we chatted for less than five minutes before she turned the conversation to whatever her and her douche bag boyfriend were arguing about at the time.

I understand how difficult her situation is. It can't be easy to be there to raise the child you're boyfriend had with another woman after only recently going through an abortion a few months earlier. I'm on page with her there. But if she's going to make the conscious decision to stay in the situation than she's going to have to get over it cause it's not about the asshole who can't seem to keep his dick in his pants or the newly lesbian mother who after decided to give up the baby for adoption once she waited out the time she had to have a legal abortion changed her mind and up and kept the kid right after giving birth, which is the only reason he even copped to the whole thing. He was content to sweep it all under the rug and not breathe a word of it to anyone. And I love her, but it's not about my friend Bernie either. It's about this baby who did not ask to be brought into this fucked up situation where the adults are all worried about their own needs and how this child will affect or benifit them.

What pissed me off even more is finding out that the abortion wasn't a secret from her boyfriend after all. He let her take care of it on her own and she lied and told me he didn't know about it so my opinion of him wouldn't plummet any lower than it already has. I can't even put into words the negative vibe I felt waiting in that room listening to them call in woman after woman . Sitting around all those sad, lost looking people. It was so depressing I had to make myself not cry once we got back into the car.

He was a coward and a pussy for making her go through that experience by herself and he deserves every ounce of misery FC ("Fucking Cunt" as me and Bernie refer to her in secrecy) can pour on him but if Bernie stays with him then she's kinda asking for anything further this man will put her through.

I want to be there for my friend but you can only give the same advice so often. Once it gets to the point when I purposefully change the subject to keep from telling you to "get over it bitch", it's time you seek some professional help. Cause I can't do it. Especially since I make it a point not to discuss my personal problems involving a certain somebody cause any advice she gives I have to look at her like, "really? You're gonna say that shit with a straight face?"

I love my friends but I learned early on not to go with them for personal advice. What the fuck do they know? Their lives are just as screwed up as mine.